Leah: After this, can we take a break for something more pleasant? You know, like twenty red-eyed vampires who try to kill us?
Finn: If you hate this book so much, why do you keep sporking?
Leah: Because the more I read, the less bad I feel for condoning you stabbing Bella, or for beating up Edward in the afterlife.
Finn: Fair.
Well, Bawla is still hesitant to tell Wardo her theories about him and it still doesn’t occur to her or Wardo or Meyer to CALL THE FUCKING POLICE ON THE RAPIST. Seriously, if you want any proof that Wardo doesn’t give a shit about any humans who aren’t Bawla, there it is right in front of you.
Leah: You are all talk, Edward! You could have killed the rapist in a hundred ways, incapacitate him non-lethally in fifty, and call the police in two, with phone or face to face, and you did none of the above. Because you feared you would scare one of his victims. And yet you have murdered disabled people.
I am sending a copy to the Legion the next time I see them, because the second layer might be too mild for this scum.
Finn: You mean the one where the random encounters were a headache? Makes sense.
Like in Twilight, she asks how his mind-reading works and he explains it as best he can since ”She’d already guessed most of this, and it was an easier subject than the one that loomed.” Yeah, especially since revealing that you’re a vampire could ENDANGER YOUR FAMILY’S LIVES, but again, he’s not thinking about that.
Leah: Well, he did try to expose himself in public to get killed by the Volturi, and he didn't care how many people would have to die with him.
Finn: Why? To ignite a spark of rebellion?
Leah: No, because he couldn't be away from Bella for too long.
Finn: The bastard.
”My mind doesn’t work right?” she asked, her voice rising. “I’m a freak?”
Finn: Yes. Anyone who doesn't care how many they will hurt as long as they gain immortality is a freak.
Wardo ”didn’t understand where her terror was coming from” because apparently he thinks going 100 miles per hour is something normal humans do every day. When she points out how fast he’s going, he’s his usual considerate self and thinks ”This little thing, just a bit of speed, had her shouting in fear?”
Finn: You are very bad at hiding your true colors.
Leah: 100 kilometers per hour? Yeah, he is not dodging my Three Mach Overdrive, especially since he doesn't train!
Then Bawla says, ”I told you, it doesn’t matter what you are. It’s too late.” Yes, Bawla’s got the hots for Wardo, which means it’s TOO LATE. He could be a serial killer and Bawla wouldn’t care because he’s just TOO HOT FOR THAT TO MATTER!
Leah: Oh, hi, Imprinted Rey.
I supposed this meant I was now free to slaughter the small, defenseless tribe on the coastline, were I so inclined. Ephraim and his pack of protectors were long dead.
Leah: Because of a story about vampires?
(Bashes her fists together) Hold on a second, I am going to check if Edward can be farmed for XP.
(Comes back a bit later) Yes, he can be farmed for XP.
That was because he wanted to murder my whole tribe!
When they reach Charlie’s house, Bawla makes Wardo PROMISE that he’ll be in school tomorrow because OH NOES HOW WILL SHE SURVIVE ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT HIM? He tells her she can keep his jacket, but she still gives it back on account of she doesn’t want to tell Charlie what happened. Sure, she was almost FUCKING RAPED, but that’s none of Charlie’s business!
Finn: Of course it's not, because if Charlie protects her from this threat, he will protect her from every threat. Edward is a walking red flag.
(takes deep breath) Wardo continues to be emo, saying that any guardian angel who let her meet him would be a moron and ”could not possibly be on the side of good.” He vows that he’ll keep fighting to protect Bawla from whatever’s out to get her.
A guardian vampire—there was a stretch.
Leah: Don't pretend to be an angel! Committing genocide over the fear of someone being aware of the creatures of the night? That's exactly what the Dark One's demons do!
Speak of the devil, Carlisle then imagines Bawla as OH NOES A VAMPIRE! Of course, this causes Wardo to go into Emo Mode, wangsting, ”how could there be any good in destroying something so pure and lovely?”
Finn: Pure and lovely?
Sorry also for the things beyond my control—that I’d been the executioner chosen by fate to end her life in the first place.
Finn: No, you chose to do that, don't hide behind fate like a spineless fuck!
Leah: I am supposed to be the rude one...
Yes, Meyer just typed with a straight face that Bawla and Wardo’s Truest of True Loves is meant to be and serves a higher purpose. The higher purpose being . . . what? Making Bawla a superior rich Sue vampire and fulfilling Meyer’s Sue fantasies?
Pan: Should have the Dark One spork.
Leah: No need, I can see his higher purpose. It was to make our tribe allies with the vampires, so they would let the bloodsuckers oppress humans with no resistance.
No one needed or deserved one more than Bella.
Finn: All the ex-Stormtroopers, the children that had grown men imprint on them, all slaves, every child that is in a city under siege, the late Leia Organa...
Also, neither one breaks into the other’s house to watch them sleep.
Finn: Except maybe Wolverton's version.
I wished I could have heard the boy’s reaction, witnessed the devastation for myself.
Oh, are you still daydreaming about unleashing your own devastation on the entire tribe simply because you can?
Wardo lets us know that he’s not angry at Jacob since after all, he just thought he was telling a fictional story, ”And how could I expect anyone to deny this girl what she wanted?”
Leah: You will force Jacob to watch as you kill us all? Me, Seth, Emily, Embry, Mom... not on my watch, you piece of shit.
Finn: Also, I am not giving Bella what she wants. Problem?
Pan: Dismissed. Overall? That was a load of bullshit.
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timeasmymeasure
More of Meyer's bullshit
Date: 2023-06-10 06:48 am (UTC)Leah: After this, can we take a break for something more pleasant? You know, like twenty red-eyed vampires who try to kill us?
Finn: If you hate this book so much, why do you keep sporking?
Leah: Because the more I read, the less bad I feel for condoning you stabbing Bella, or for beating up Edward in the afterlife.
Finn: Fair.
Well, Bawla is still hesitant to tell Wardo her theories about him and it still doesn’t occur to her or Wardo or Meyer to CALL THE FUCKING POLICE ON THE RAPIST. Seriously, if you want any proof that Wardo doesn’t give a shit about any humans who aren’t Bawla, there it is right in front of you.
Leah: You are all talk, Edward! You could have killed the rapist in a hundred ways, incapacitate him non-lethally in fifty, and call the police in two, with phone or face to face, and you did none of the above. Because you feared you would scare one of his victims. And yet you have murdered disabled people.
I am sending a copy to the Legion the next time I see them, because the second layer might be too mild for this scum.
Finn: You mean the one where the random encounters were a headache? Makes sense.
Like in Twilight, she asks how his mind-reading works and he explains it as best he can since ”She’d already guessed most of this, and it was an easier subject than the one that loomed.” Yeah, especially since revealing that you’re a vampire could ENDANGER YOUR FAMILY’S LIVES, but again, he’s not thinking about that.
Leah: Well, he did try to expose himself in public to get killed by the Volturi, and he didn't care how many people would have to die with him.
Finn: Why? To ignite a spark of rebellion?
Leah: No, because he couldn't be away from Bella for too long.
Finn: The bastard.
”My mind doesn’t work right?” she asked, her voice rising. “I’m a freak?”
Finn: Yes. Anyone who doesn't care how many they will hurt as long as they gain immortality is a freak.
Wardo ”didn’t understand where her terror was coming from” because apparently he thinks going 100 miles per hour is something normal humans do every day. When she points out how fast he’s going, he’s his usual considerate self and thinks ”This little thing, just a bit of speed, had her shouting in fear?”
Finn: You are very bad at hiding your true colors.
Leah: 100 kilometers per hour? Yeah, he is not dodging my Three Mach Overdrive, especially since he doesn't train!
Then Bawla says, ”I told you, it doesn’t matter what you are. It’s too late.” Yes, Bawla’s got the hots for Wardo, which means it’s TOO LATE. He could be a serial killer and Bawla wouldn’t care because he’s just TOO HOT FOR THAT TO MATTER!
Leah: Oh, hi, Imprinted Rey.
I supposed this meant I was now free to slaughter the small, defenseless tribe on the coastline, were I so inclined. Ephraim and his pack of protectors were long dead.
Leah: Because of a story about vampires?
(Bashes her fists together) Hold on a second, I am going to check if Edward can be farmed for XP.
(Comes back a bit later) Yes, he can be farmed for XP.
That was because he wanted to murder my whole tribe!
When they reach Charlie’s house, Bawla makes Wardo PROMISE that he’ll be in school tomorrow because OH NOES HOW WILL SHE SURVIVE ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT HIM? He tells her she can keep his jacket, but she still gives it back on account of she doesn’t want to tell Charlie what happened. Sure, she was almost FUCKING RAPED, but that’s none of Charlie’s business!
Finn: Of course it's not, because if Charlie protects her from this threat, he will protect her from every threat. Edward is a walking red flag.
(takes deep breath) Wardo continues to be emo, saying that any guardian angel who let her meet him would be a moron and ”could not possibly be on the side of good.” He vows that he’ll keep fighting to protect Bawla from whatever’s out to get her.
A guardian vampire—there was a stretch.
Leah: Don't pretend to be an angel! Committing genocide over the fear of someone being aware of the creatures of the night? That's exactly what the Dark One's demons do!
Speak of the devil, Carlisle then imagines Bawla as OH NOES A VAMPIRE! Of course, this causes Wardo to go into Emo Mode, wangsting, ”how could there be any good in destroying something so pure and lovely?”
Finn: Pure and lovely?
Sorry also for the things beyond my control—that I’d been the executioner chosen by fate to end her life in the first place.
Finn: No, you chose to do that, don't hide behind fate like a spineless fuck!
Leah: I am supposed to be the rude one...
Yes, Meyer just typed with a straight face that Bawla and Wardo’s Truest of True Loves is meant to be and serves a higher purpose. The higher purpose being . . . what? Making Bawla a superior rich Sue vampire and fulfilling Meyer’s Sue fantasies?
Pan: Should have the Dark One spork.
Leah: No need, I can see his higher purpose. It was to make our tribe allies with the vampires, so they would let the bloodsuckers oppress humans with no resistance.
No one needed or deserved one more than Bella.
Finn: All the ex-Stormtroopers, the children that had grown men imprint on them, all slaves, every child that is in a city under siege, the late Leia Organa...
Also, neither one breaks into the other’s house to watch them sleep.
Finn: Except maybe Wolverton's version.
I wished I could have heard the boy’s reaction, witnessed the devastation for myself.
Oh, are you still daydreaming about unleashing your own devastation on the entire tribe simply because you can?
Wardo lets us know that he’s not angry at Jacob since after all, he just thought he was telling a fictional story, ”And how could I expect anyone to deny this girl what she wanted?”
Leah: You will force Jacob to watch as you kill us all? Me, Seth, Emily, Embry, Mom... not on my watch, you piece of shit.
Finn: Also, I am not giving Bella what she wants. Problem?
Pan: Dismissed. Overall? That was a load of bullshit.