Just a Memory - Chapter 2
Dec. 21st, 2024 04:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
esmeandfictionLast time, Rey woke up with no memory of anything that happened since Starkiller Base and was shocked to see Kylo Ren around, though she still had time to drool over how hot he is.
REY: So will this be the chapter where I want to bash myself in the head?
ESME: Hopefully you won’t want to do it at all. Like I said, this isn’t one of the infuriating Reylo fics.
KYLO: Will I want to bash myself in the head?
ESME: You’re not even in this chapter.
KYLO: GOOD!
ESME: Come on, let’s get started.
When she woke up, Rey was back in the comfy bed in the forest bedroom. Finn sat on the edge of the bed. He looked up when she stirred.
“Hey, peanut.
REY: Since when does Finn call me “peanut”?
ESME: Do peanuts EXIST in your universe?
We thought it’d be better if it was just me with you the next time you woke up,” Finn said.
KYLO: And there still aren’t any DOCTORS in sight.
”Even if Poe’s a little mad about that.”
Rey nodded. Then she frowned. “Who’s Poe?”
REY: Someone who doesn’t listen.
Finn’s mouth opened a little but he didn’t speak at first. ‘Oh, boy.”
KYLO: I’d say Rey forgetting everything that’s happened in the past several years is slightly more serious than “oh boy.”
”What?”
“Rey, what’s the last thing you remember?”
“We were on Starkiller base. Kylo Ren killed Han.
ESME: Oh, now you mention that slightly important detail.
He injured you. And then we fought.
ESME: That sounds like Rey and Finn were the ones who fought.
I was winning before the land broke apart.
KYLO: Only because the filmmakers had me just stand there while you summoned the Force.
ESME: Okay, let’s not start THAT debate.
And that’s about it.”
“Ah. Alright. Let me start from the beginning. You’ll probably have lots of questions, but let me keep talking until I’ve caught you up. Deal?”
KYLO: Great, we’re about to have storytime.
”Deal.” Rey bit her lip.
REY: (groans) I’m doing the Bella lip-bite, nice.
Finn took a deep breath. “That was three years ago, Rey.”
REY: Let me guess, my reaction is going to be incredibly subdued.
Finn stopped to watch her face. Rey’s blood ran cold. Three years?
KYLO: Yes, that’s what he said.
She didn’t dare speak. Her throat felt dry, and she had promised Finn to let him finish talking.
REY: Again, that’s a very subdued reaction.
”After Starkiller, you went to see Luke. He wasn’t much for training you,
REY: That’s an understatement.
but while you were there you formed a force bond with Kylo Ren. I understand that you had some…good conversations with him.
REY: Like the one where he was shirtless?
KYLO: (groans)
I was still recovering on the Raddus and it took us a while to meet up again.”
Kylo Ren and I talked? Rey frowned.
REY: Am I ever going to have an actual reaction to any of this?
KYLO: Maybe you’re drugged up or something.
”You need a teacher. I could show you the ways of the force.”
ESME: Which is still CAPITALIZED.
”You met up with Ben on the Supremacy, Snoke’s ship, and you and Ben killed him.
KYLO: No, I killed him! Credit where credit’s due!
After that, we fought on Crait. Luke helped us escape but it cost him his life. You saved us too with your rock lifting jedi thing,
REY: Oh sure, trivialize it by calling it “my rock lifting jedi thing.”
ESME: And “Jedi” is capitalized too.
but the resistance was in rough shape. We spent a year in hiding, recouping and training. You trained with Leia.
REY: At the time of Starkiller, I hadn’t MET Leia yet, but of course I have nothing to say about training with the famous Leia Organa.
Kylo Ren became Ben again.
REY: And he’s not going to tell me HOW Kylo became Ben again??
ESME: I’m getting the feeling that the author just wants to rush through this part, seeing as how you don’t even react to this.
Emperor Palpatine returned.
KYLO: Is Finn trying to give the “somehow Palpatine returned” meme a run for its money?
REY: And let me guess, I don’t react to the evil tyrant who’s been DEAD FOR THIRTY YEARS coming back to life.
ESME: You guess right.
He’s your grandfather.
REY: Well SURELY I’m gonna react to THIS, right? That’s a reality-shattering revelation!
ESME: Don’t be silly, it’s not nearly as important as sexytimes!
You and Ben fought him and you killed him, but died yourself. Ben brought you back to life.
REY: (facepalms) And now I have no reaction to DYING and getting brought back to life. Did other me pass out again?
And Leia sacrificed herself to save Ben.
ESME: Wait, wait, time out. Leia sacrificed herself BEFORE Rey and Ben went to Exegol.
KYLO: Apparently not in this universe.
ESME: Then what drove Ben back to the light side if Leia didn’t sacrifice herself until later?
REY: Let me guess, we’re not going to get an answer even though that might actually be interesting.
ESME: You guess right. Apparently Kylo just “became Ben again” on a whim.
And then you married him and bought yourself a nice little house in the middle of the woods of Takodama,
ESME: It’s still Takodana.
close to Maz’s. That’s where we are now.”
REY: So I married Ben IMMEDIATELY after Exegol? What?
KYLO: Also, what are our JOBS? Where did we get the money to buy the house?
ESME: And that’s not even mentioning how, oh, THE ENTIRE GALAXY would be pretty damn pissed at Ben if he survived.
Rey’s breath came in a little faster. Crait?
REY: Why is Crait the first thing I think of?
Kylo Ren? Force bond? Palpatine?
REY: Yeah, I should have a thousand questions here, but I’m guessing that I’m not going to ask any of them.
ESME: You guess right.
”Look, I realized half way through my explanation, there’s no way I can convey half of what’s happened in the past three years. I think it’d be best for us to figure out what happened to your memories of the past and go from here. Ben can always do that mind thing he does and feed you images of the past.”
REY: (stares) He’s seriously suggesting that when the MIND-RAPE is fresh in my head again?? WHAT???
Rey recoiled. “Absolutely not.”
REY: I’d say that was worth more than just a recoil.
Finn smiled a little.
ESME: He’s smiling even though he knows that the mind-rape is fresh in Rey’s head and he just triggered a memory of it?
”Look, I’m happy for you and Ben.
REY: He’s not helping when I still think of Ben as Kylo.
I can see now how much of a good match you both make,
REY: Finn doesn’t talk like this.
but from my perspective, and Poe’s, and Leia’s, your relationship with him came about rather suddenly
KYLO: No shit, seeing as how we apparently got married immediately after Exegol.
ESME: (sings) “Love is an open dooooooor . . . “
and I was annoyed at how easily you seemed to love our enemy. If your reaction now
REY: WHAT reaction??
is any glimpse of the past, then I’m getting a lot of joy out of knowing he had to work for it.”
KYLO: It actually doesn’t sound like I had to work for it at all.
Rey let out a small laugh. “Finn, everything you’re saying sounds like a lie. I can’t love him. I don’t. I-“ Rey ran out of things to say.
REY: Nice to see that other me has nothing to say about being PALPATINE’S GRANDDAUGHTER.
She didn’t have any reason to believe Finn was lying to her,
KYLO: Why not?
but she couldn’t remember anything. She did remember the moment he took off his helmet on Starkiller though.
ESME: Great, we’re gonna get more drooling over how hawt Kylo is.
How he took her breath away, how he terrified and excited her at the same time.
ESME: Called it.
”Don’t worry, I feel it too.”
KYLO: I actually said “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.”
”What made me lose my memory in the first place?” Rey asked instead of any more questions that would lead to more conversations about Ren.
REY: And you don’t have any questions about being PALPATINE’S GRANDDAUGHTER?? None at all?
ESME: Of course not – it doesn’t have to do with the sexytimes, so it’s not important.
”Right. You and Poe were on a supply run when you were ambushed up smugglers.
ESME: “Ambushed UP smugglers”??? Did the smugglers ambush you up your asses or something?
You were going to bring some medicine to one of the poorer planets near by. Medicine that was worth a lot on the black market. Poe said you hit your head really hard while fighting them off.”
REY: Oh, I get amnesia from hitting my head, how original.
”Oh. Did that planet get the medicine they needed?”
Finn smiled wide. There was warmth in his eyes. “Yeah, peanut, they did.”
ESME: Again, do peanuts EXIST in your universe?
He took her hand. “The doctor said you’d need some rest for a few days
KYLO: And where IS the doctor?
but that you’d wake up once your brain had healed. There was, uh, swelling. He didn’t say anything about memory loss. We’ll call him back to talk about this.”
KYLO: Seems to me that you should have already done that.
”Ok,” Rey said. “Thank you, Finn. Sorry for all the trouble.”
REY: Why am I apologizing for losing my memory?
”Don’t you dare mention it. I’m just glad you’re alright.
REY: Since I have a giant gap in my memories, I’m clearly not alright.
Poe was worried sick. He blamed himself for your injury. Ben’s been worried too.
KYLO: Even though I barely reacted at all to any of this.
He hasn’t left your side
REY: As was evidenced by him not being there when I woke up.
unless the kids needed him.
REY: (stares)
KYLO: (stares)
REY: (groans) Kids. Of COURSE there are kids.
KYLO: And where were they when you woke up?
REY: They were in the not-yet-existing dimension. And let me guess, I’m barely going to react to there being KIDS.
ESME: You guess right.
Rey stilled. “Kids?”
REY: Can someone please teach other me how to REACT to things? I’m starting to think she hasn’t actually heard anything Finn has said.
”Oh, crap.” Finn paled. “Sorry, I was going to let you process all this information before I told you. “You and Ben have twins. A boy and a girl, just like Luke and Leia.”
ESME: Oh wow, I’ve never read a Star Wars story with twins before.
Rey’s mouth hung open. She tried to speak but her throat felt tight.
She had fought with Ren, instead of against him.
KYLO: Oh, we also did a lot of fighting against each other too.
She apparently liked him enough to marry him.
And they have kids together.
REY: And, you know, you’re also PALPATINE’S GRANDDAUGHTER, or did you forget that little detail?
”You know I can take whatever I want.”
Rey lay back down. She felt dizzy again.
ESME: She sensed that the fic didn’t care about fulfilling its potential.
Finn seems to pick up on her unease.
ESME: Tense changes. Great, now we’re in QN land.
”Let’s call the doctor.
KYLO: Why didn’t you ALREADY call the doctor?
He’ll know what to do about your memory.” He squeezed her hand. “I hope you get all your memories back, Rey. Especially the ones about me. Let’s be honest, those really are the best ones.”
REY: Hey, with my memory wiped clean, what if I fell in love with Finn this time around?
ESME: That would be more interesting than this story.
Rey laughed a little. “I hope so, too.” Rey couldn’t believe she’s a mom.
ESME: And now we have tense changes mid-sentence. We really ARE in QN land.
And that Ren is the father of her children. She wants to run. Run from the reality that is this life, but she knows that wouldn’t make sense. Finn isn’t lying.
KYLO: Again, why are you so sure of that? Maybe he defected back to being a stormtrooper and this is all part of some elaborate First Order plot.
And the way Ren looked at her in the other room was like nothing she’d ever seen from him before.
ESME: Not that we’re gonna bother describing it or anything.
She had to steady her nerves. He wasn’t the man she remembered. Whether or not she wanted to believe it, this was her life now.
Rey needed to get her memories back so she could take back her life, at Ren’s side.
REY: So I just ACCEPT that I’m married to Kylo Ren just like that?? Even though the last thing I remember is him MURDERING HIS FATHER??
ESME: And notice how Han’s barely been mentioned at all in this chapter even though the grief would be raw and fresh again. So typical of Reylo fic.
REY: And again, other me, you’re PALPATINE’S GRANDDAUGHTER. PALPATINE’S. GRANDDAUGHTER.
KYLO: Who cares about that when there’s sexytimes to be had?
ESME: Anyway, that’s the end of the chapter, and once again it failed to live up to its potential. Even though Rey got hit with reality-shattering revelation after reality-shattering revelation, she barely reacted at all to any of it.
REY: Can we go?
ESME: Yes, but I’ll need you guys for the next chapter, where you and Ben start talking and even more potential gets wasted.
REY: So will this be the chapter where I want to bash myself in the head?
ESME: Hopefully you won’t want to do it at all. Like I said, this isn’t one of the infuriating Reylo fics.
KYLO: Will I want to bash myself in the head?
ESME: You’re not even in this chapter.
KYLO: GOOD!
ESME: Come on, let’s get started.
When she woke up, Rey was back in the comfy bed in the forest bedroom. Finn sat on the edge of the bed. He looked up when she stirred.
“Hey, peanut.
REY: Since when does Finn call me “peanut”?
ESME: Do peanuts EXIST in your universe?
We thought it’d be better if it was just me with you the next time you woke up,” Finn said.
KYLO: And there still aren’t any DOCTORS in sight.
”Even if Poe’s a little mad about that.”
Rey nodded. Then she frowned. “Who’s Poe?”
REY: Someone who doesn’t listen.
Finn’s mouth opened a little but he didn’t speak at first. ‘Oh, boy.”
KYLO: I’d say Rey forgetting everything that’s happened in the past several years is slightly more serious than “oh boy.”
”What?”
“Rey, what’s the last thing you remember?”
“We were on Starkiller base. Kylo Ren killed Han.
ESME: Oh, now you mention that slightly important detail.
He injured you. And then we fought.
ESME: That sounds like Rey and Finn were the ones who fought.
I was winning before the land broke apart.
KYLO: Only because the filmmakers had me just stand there while you summoned the Force.
ESME: Okay, let’s not start THAT debate.
And that’s about it.”
“Ah. Alright. Let me start from the beginning. You’ll probably have lots of questions, but let me keep talking until I’ve caught you up. Deal?”
KYLO: Great, we’re about to have storytime.
”Deal.” Rey bit her lip.
REY: (groans) I’m doing the Bella lip-bite, nice.
Finn took a deep breath. “That was three years ago, Rey.”
REY: Let me guess, my reaction is going to be incredibly subdued.
Finn stopped to watch her face. Rey’s blood ran cold. Three years?
KYLO: Yes, that’s what he said.
She didn’t dare speak. Her throat felt dry, and she had promised Finn to let him finish talking.
REY: Again, that’s a very subdued reaction.
”After Starkiller, you went to see Luke. He wasn’t much for training you,
REY: That’s an understatement.
but while you were there you formed a force bond with Kylo Ren. I understand that you had some…good conversations with him.
REY: Like the one where he was shirtless?
KYLO: (groans)
I was still recovering on the Raddus and it took us a while to meet up again.”
Kylo Ren and I talked? Rey frowned.
REY: Am I ever going to have an actual reaction to any of this?
KYLO: Maybe you’re drugged up or something.
”You need a teacher. I could show you the ways of the force.”
ESME: Which is still CAPITALIZED.
”You met up with Ben on the Supremacy, Snoke’s ship, and you and Ben killed him.
KYLO: No, I killed him! Credit where credit’s due!
After that, we fought on Crait. Luke helped us escape but it cost him his life. You saved us too with your rock lifting jedi thing,
REY: Oh sure, trivialize it by calling it “my rock lifting jedi thing.”
ESME: And “Jedi” is capitalized too.
but the resistance was in rough shape. We spent a year in hiding, recouping and training. You trained with Leia.
REY: At the time of Starkiller, I hadn’t MET Leia yet, but of course I have nothing to say about training with the famous Leia Organa.
Kylo Ren became Ben again.
REY: And he’s not going to tell me HOW Kylo became Ben again??
ESME: I’m getting the feeling that the author just wants to rush through this part, seeing as how you don’t even react to this.
Emperor Palpatine returned.
KYLO: Is Finn trying to give the “somehow Palpatine returned” meme a run for its money?
REY: And let me guess, I don’t react to the evil tyrant who’s been DEAD FOR THIRTY YEARS coming back to life.
ESME: You guess right.
He’s your grandfather.
REY: Well SURELY I’m gonna react to THIS, right? That’s a reality-shattering revelation!
ESME: Don’t be silly, it’s not nearly as important as sexytimes!
You and Ben fought him and you killed him, but died yourself. Ben brought you back to life.
REY: (facepalms) And now I have no reaction to DYING and getting brought back to life. Did other me pass out again?
And Leia sacrificed herself to save Ben.
ESME: Wait, wait, time out. Leia sacrificed herself BEFORE Rey and Ben went to Exegol.
KYLO: Apparently not in this universe.
ESME: Then what drove Ben back to the light side if Leia didn’t sacrifice herself until later?
REY: Let me guess, we’re not going to get an answer even though that might actually be interesting.
ESME: You guess right. Apparently Kylo just “became Ben again” on a whim.
And then you married him and bought yourself a nice little house in the middle of the woods of Takodama,
ESME: It’s still Takodana.
close to Maz’s. That’s where we are now.”
REY: So I married Ben IMMEDIATELY after Exegol? What?
KYLO: Also, what are our JOBS? Where did we get the money to buy the house?
ESME: And that’s not even mentioning how, oh, THE ENTIRE GALAXY would be pretty damn pissed at Ben if he survived.
Rey’s breath came in a little faster. Crait?
REY: Why is Crait the first thing I think of?
Kylo Ren? Force bond? Palpatine?
REY: Yeah, I should have a thousand questions here, but I’m guessing that I’m not going to ask any of them.
ESME: You guess right.
”Look, I realized half way through my explanation, there’s no way I can convey half of what’s happened in the past three years. I think it’d be best for us to figure out what happened to your memories of the past and go from here. Ben can always do that mind thing he does and feed you images of the past.”
REY: (stares) He’s seriously suggesting that when the MIND-RAPE is fresh in my head again?? WHAT???
Rey recoiled. “Absolutely not.”
REY: I’d say that was worth more than just a recoil.
Finn smiled a little.
ESME: He’s smiling even though he knows that the mind-rape is fresh in Rey’s head and he just triggered a memory of it?
”Look, I’m happy for you and Ben.
REY: He’s not helping when I still think of Ben as Kylo.
I can see now how much of a good match you both make,
REY: Finn doesn’t talk like this.
but from my perspective, and Poe’s, and Leia’s, your relationship with him came about rather suddenly
KYLO: No shit, seeing as how we apparently got married immediately after Exegol.
ESME: (sings) “Love is an open dooooooor . . . “
and I was annoyed at how easily you seemed to love our enemy. If your reaction now
REY: WHAT reaction??
is any glimpse of the past, then I’m getting a lot of joy out of knowing he had to work for it.”
KYLO: It actually doesn’t sound like I had to work for it at all.
Rey let out a small laugh. “Finn, everything you’re saying sounds like a lie. I can’t love him. I don’t. I-“ Rey ran out of things to say.
REY: Nice to see that other me has nothing to say about being PALPATINE’S GRANDDAUGHTER.
She didn’t have any reason to believe Finn was lying to her,
KYLO: Why not?
but she couldn’t remember anything. She did remember the moment he took off his helmet on Starkiller though.
ESME: Great, we’re gonna get more drooling over how hawt Kylo is.
How he took her breath away, how he terrified and excited her at the same time.
ESME: Called it.
”Don’t worry, I feel it too.”
KYLO: I actually said “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.”
”What made me lose my memory in the first place?” Rey asked instead of any more questions that would lead to more conversations about Ren.
REY: And you don’t have any questions about being PALPATINE’S GRANDDAUGHTER?? None at all?
ESME: Of course not – it doesn’t have to do with the sexytimes, so it’s not important.
”Right. You and Poe were on a supply run when you were ambushed up smugglers.
ESME: “Ambushed UP smugglers”??? Did the smugglers ambush you up your asses or something?
You were going to bring some medicine to one of the poorer planets near by. Medicine that was worth a lot on the black market. Poe said you hit your head really hard while fighting them off.”
REY: Oh, I get amnesia from hitting my head, how original.
”Oh. Did that planet get the medicine they needed?”
Finn smiled wide. There was warmth in his eyes. “Yeah, peanut, they did.”
ESME: Again, do peanuts EXIST in your universe?
He took her hand. “The doctor said you’d need some rest for a few days
KYLO: And where IS the doctor?
but that you’d wake up once your brain had healed. There was, uh, swelling. He didn’t say anything about memory loss. We’ll call him back to talk about this.”
KYLO: Seems to me that you should have already done that.
”Ok,” Rey said. “Thank you, Finn. Sorry for all the trouble.”
REY: Why am I apologizing for losing my memory?
”Don’t you dare mention it. I’m just glad you’re alright.
REY: Since I have a giant gap in my memories, I’m clearly not alright.
Poe was worried sick. He blamed himself for your injury. Ben’s been worried too.
KYLO: Even though I barely reacted at all to any of this.
He hasn’t left your side
REY: As was evidenced by him not being there when I woke up.
unless the kids needed him.
REY: (stares)
KYLO: (stares)
REY: (groans) Kids. Of COURSE there are kids.
KYLO: And where were they when you woke up?
REY: They were in the not-yet-existing dimension. And let me guess, I’m barely going to react to there being KIDS.
ESME: You guess right.
Rey stilled. “Kids?”
REY: Can someone please teach other me how to REACT to things? I’m starting to think she hasn’t actually heard anything Finn has said.
”Oh, crap.” Finn paled. “Sorry, I was going to let you process all this information before I told you. “You and Ben have twins. A boy and a girl, just like Luke and Leia.”
ESME: Oh wow, I’ve never read a Star Wars story with twins before.
Rey’s mouth hung open. She tried to speak but her throat felt tight.
She had fought with Ren, instead of against him.
KYLO: Oh, we also did a lot of fighting against each other too.
She apparently liked him enough to marry him.
And they have kids together.
REY: And, you know, you’re also PALPATINE’S GRANDDAUGHTER, or did you forget that little detail?
”You know I can take whatever I want.”
Rey lay back down. She felt dizzy again.
ESME: She sensed that the fic didn’t care about fulfilling its potential.
Finn seems to pick up on her unease.
ESME: Tense changes. Great, now we’re in QN land.
”Let’s call the doctor.
KYLO: Why didn’t you ALREADY call the doctor?
He’ll know what to do about your memory.” He squeezed her hand. “I hope you get all your memories back, Rey. Especially the ones about me. Let’s be honest, those really are the best ones.”
REY: Hey, with my memory wiped clean, what if I fell in love with Finn this time around?
ESME: That would be more interesting than this story.
Rey laughed a little. “I hope so, too.” Rey couldn’t believe she’s a mom.
ESME: And now we have tense changes mid-sentence. We really ARE in QN land.
And that Ren is the father of her children. She wants to run. Run from the reality that is this life, but she knows that wouldn’t make sense. Finn isn’t lying.
KYLO: Again, why are you so sure of that? Maybe he defected back to being a stormtrooper and this is all part of some elaborate First Order plot.
And the way Ren looked at her in the other room was like nothing she’d ever seen from him before.
ESME: Not that we’re gonna bother describing it or anything.
She had to steady her nerves. He wasn’t the man she remembered. Whether or not she wanted to believe it, this was her life now.
Rey needed to get her memories back so she could take back her life, at Ren’s side.
REY: So I just ACCEPT that I’m married to Kylo Ren just like that?? Even though the last thing I remember is him MURDERING HIS FATHER??
ESME: And notice how Han’s barely been mentioned at all in this chapter even though the grief would be raw and fresh again. So typical of Reylo fic.
REY: And again, other me, you’re PALPATINE’S GRANDDAUGHTER. PALPATINE’S. GRANDDAUGHTER.
KYLO: Who cares about that when there’s sexytimes to be had?
ESME: Anyway, that’s the end of the chapter, and once again it failed to live up to its potential. Even though Rey got hit with reality-shattering revelation after reality-shattering revelation, she barely reacted at all to any of it.
REY: Can we go?
ESME: Yes, but I’ll need you guys for the next chapter, where you and Ben start talking and even more potential gets wasted.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-21 10:10 pm (UTC)But yeah, if you’re wondering about the peanut line, it’s an Actor Allusion on John Boyega’s part. Which is actually very sweet. (I’m not made of stone, after all)
As for the rest of the chapter, all of this has positively amazing angst potential. I mean, how are Rey’s kids going to react, how’s Ben going to react, but yeah, everyone seems too calm about this. I’m headcanoning that Finn’s internally having a panic attack and that his first priority after talking with Rey is to go out with Poe, Rose and Zorii and start heavily drinking over the incident.
And then once Rey really lets it sink in, she has pretty much…not a panic attack but just a holy-shit kind of reaction, and maybe some genuine worry about “what if I hurt my kids the same way my grandfather hurt me” even if that’s absolute bullshit. (That’s how I’d do it, at least)
no subject
Date: 2024-12-21 10:59 pm (UTC)As goes the running theme with this story, there's a hell of a lot of potential that just doesn't get realized.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-21 11:57 pm (UTC)And yeah, I think that “they wasted a perfectly good plot” really sums up this story.